Stupid Blog

Here's why I don't post more often. This stupid content management blog shit sucks. I take 30 minutes to write a goddamed 6-paragraph post and then somehow the application consumes it and no amount of pressing the 'back' button will revive what I just wrote! Stupid ass web application!

False start

So last week was the start to the weight loss contest at my gym called "Count Your Losses." If you recall, I made promises about combining proper diet and cutting out drinking so that I could kick major ass in the program. So here is my first confessional. I drank on the following days last week: Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

SHUT UP. I know what you are thinking.

Well, ok, now here are my excuses. The first week of Count Your Losses happened to coincide with one of the most stressful weeks of my career. The work/life balance was in major disrupt. Not only was I slammed at my current job, but I was putting in major overtime preparing for a presentation that was part of a job interview for a better job. And then there's some other stuff, but I can't talk about that until later. So, yeah. The last thing on my mind was counting calories and packing my daily lunches and snacks with the proper macronutrient ratios. Then came the stress and near mental breakdown, relief from which only a chilled glass of sauvignon blanc can deliver. And since I do not have access to other types of calorie-free stress relievers like valium or percoset, it's wine all the way. And don't even suggest herbal remedies, I have tried this so-called "calming" tea with valerian root and it does weird things to me like making me forget my name and the day of the week. You might think this would be a good thing for my situation, but it's more like when you forget your name on acid. Scary and disorienting.

But the good news is that I have been putting in the exercise and that is helping because I kicked ass at my first Count Your Losses challenge. But if kicking ass against women who are twice my age and could probably tell me a thing or two about stress, then I might want to rethink my self-praise. Maybe I shouldn't even compare to my team members at all and just concentrate on my own progress. I have to remember that I joined this little program to get those last nasty 10 pounds off, where these women are facing real life health risks if they don't get their asses in gear and lose 25 pounds at least!

So here are the stats. Let's compare me to me –

Friday weigh-in at home (8/26): 143.6
Count Your Losses first weigh-in at gym (8/31): 145 lbs
Friday weigh-in at home (9/9): 142.4

Friday weigh-ins are what ML and I do when we are dieting to stay on track. As you can see, there are some differences between the home scale and the one at my gym. But since I'll have both measurements to report regularly, I'll see how this goes. Maybe I'll drop one so that I have more consistent numbers. And I'll also be better with the diet stuff, but within reason. I may also have to reconsider the absolute zero alcohol tolerance rule as well. For christssakes, football season started last weekend. What was I thinking! (This is the part where Weese is laughing at me...I know...I know...we discussed the not drinking thing. How stupid of me to think I could not drink.)

The Canadian Cheerleader

A story told to me by my friend, Bunny. It's about her and a girl she works with, Deb.

Location: Starbucks, Westport
Time: Quittin' time, 5:30pm, Tuesday August 9.

Deb to baristas: That Sumatra coffee is strong, yay?
Two Baristas: [silence]
Bunny: Did you just say "yay"?
Deb: [silence]
Barista #1: [Laughing] I am glad *you* asked!
Deb: [Trying to figure out what word she was trying to combine with 'yes' to create the word "yay" (I am thinking "eh/ay")]
Bunny: Why did you just say "yay"?
Deb: I don't know.
Bunny: YAY!
Barista #2: [Writes the word "yea" on the cup and says to me] What can I get *you*?

Funcam

I brought gifts for our friends that we met up with in Vegas. I bought us each two Lomolitos to take pictures with. Lomolitos are single-use cameras with color-tinted flashes, so the effects can be pretty cool. There were blue, red, yellow and green cameras. Totally appropriate for Vegas, right? This worked out well for me since I didn't bring the big camera out at night for fear of drunken accidents. I think we all ended up getting our cameras mixed up though, since the some of the pics I had developed I know I didn't take.

The pictures here show more of the nightlife from our trip, much more fun than my ode to tourism pictures from the other set that I posted. Enjoy!

Will Travel For Beer

Fans of Happy Hour will surely find Will Travel For Beer a welcome addition to the Link-O-Matic^TM

This new blog is just brewing (HAR) so check frequently for many beer adventures, oh and there are MANY. Including the time Jim ran naked through a field of hops!

A fan of travelling for beer myself, I will unfortunately be adventuring vicariously through them during my three month get-in-shape campaign in which I attempt to drink NO ALCOHOL. Especially not the sweet and calorically heavy pleasures of my favorite beers: IPAs. Oh cascade hops, I will miss you so! Someday we will meet again! But I fear our love affair this summer has put me in the difficult position of having to deny you my love for the next three months. Oh ... bitter, nasty, cruel irony!!

Tinsel Town

Well, I hope you have been enjoying your Happy Hours while I was gone. I had six full days of Happy Hour in Las Vegas. And I needed a full six days to recover. And now it may take a full six months to recover from the roulette table. OH but the fun we had!


Here is why we love Vegas. Where else can you stop and blatantly photograph a man getting arrested on an undercover drug bust? Weeee! Check out photo album number one, more coming when the disposable cams get back from the shop.

Hail Caesar

Did I mention that this week we will be in Las Vegas for Friday Happy Hour? I am filled with the kind of joy and excitement that children experience on Christmas Eve. I know Kara can validate that statement for me. I am sure she has put it in those very same words. But what is it about Vegas? Is it the slots? The constant flow of liquor? The sparkles and glamour? Yes. Yes. Yes and yes.

It's the most appropriate end of the summer vacation I can think of. Because starting in September, Friday Happy Hours will consist of non-alcoholic activities for about 3 months (with the exception of a bachelorette party and a wedding). I have committed to join a weight-loss contest at my gym. A CONTEST, people. I don't know how much more motivation I can get, so I am going to take advantage of it. I AM SO GOING TO WIN. This of course means no drinking. So this also means I have only two drunken Friday Happy Hours left until diet time.

I'll have to keep track of my progress here. I won't post pictures. I would die first. But I will post my extensive bitching and moaning about how little food I am eating and how I want to die from exhaustion after my training sessions. Training sessions! I get to be personally beat down twice a week by a trainer and weighed in every two weeks. Can you stand it? I will be my own reality show. It will be like The Biggest Loser, only I can't get voted off. And what good timing, because the real "The Biggest Loser" premieres Sept 13!!